It’s hard to believe summer will soon be coming to an end and back to school is just around the corner! While it’s been some time since I’ve had small children, I recall some of the additional stressors and relief this time of year can bring.
While whizzing around the stores with the long school supply list and wondering how every water bottle ever purchased has now miraculously disappeared from the house, remember to take some time for yourself. When you are meeting your own needs, you are better equipped to help children with theirs, especially in a transition time.
Carve out some time for self care, yes, really!
How are your movement, diet and sleep routines? Are you sleeping well, eating regularly, breathing deeply and moving your body? Are there some small changes you can make to improve any of these?
Need to find some time in your day to make these happen? Here are some tips for non-negotiable “me time”:
- Schedule time for yourself like you would any other appointment. Name it “Recharge Break” to make it feel positive rather than selfish.
- Pair this with an existing activity such as during nap time or after dinner clean up – the brain loves habits tied to our normal cues.
- Create a “do not disturb” signal. It may be headphones, your coffee mug or a closed door. Let everyone know this is the sign for your 15 minutes of no interruptions.
- Start small and protect it fiercely. Even 5 minutes counts at first. Once everyone learns it’s part of the routine, then you can extend to 10 and then 15 mins.
Build routines now!
Mid to late August is the time to start helping children to begin getting up earlier. Begin with 15 mins each week until you are close to the normal school time. This will make the first week or two easier on both you and your children.
Gradually introduce earlier bedtimes and mealtimes over the last two weeks of August and encourage more “wind down” time. Dimming the lights, quiet voices, and reading help children to prepare their bodies for sleep, reduce overstimulation, support emotional regulation and improve sleep quality. It also provides you with a time to strengthen the connection with your child and help them sleep more peacefully.
To decrease power struggles in the mornings, consider using a laminated or magnetic chart with pictures for each step children need to complete (e.g. toothbrush, cereal bowl, backpack etc.) This reduces the “mental load” for children as the getting ready sequence is made both visible and predictable.
Delegate and let go of perfectionism
No one has it all together all of the time. Give yourself a break and embrace the “good enough” mindset. Not every school lunch will be completely balanced and picture perfect. Are there one or two tasks you can delegate this year? Are you able to ask for help without guilt? You’re doing enough, you don’t need to be perfect to be a good parent. Everyone out the door with matching shoes on? That’s a win! Celebrate!
Create calm where you can
To reduce the amount of double checking and running around looking for permission slips and keys, create a “command centre” at home with a calendar, drop zone and check lists.
Use Sunday evenings to prepare for the Monday morning rush. This can include meals and lunches, outfits and any outstanding to-do’s.
Emotional support
It’s normal for children of any age to have some worry about new grades, teachers, social dynamics, and even separation anxiety.
Parents are also experiencing a wide range of emotions including guilt, worry and overwhelm. Normalize this for everyone and model how to handle emotions in a healthy way. Activities such as journaling, breath work and grounding exercises like pushing the wall away with both hands to release muscle tension are just some ways to process feelings.
Know You’re Not Alone
Back to school can be hard for almost everyone! Connect with other parents in school groups or community parent groups or at a parent coffee gathering to share resources and tips with each other. Maybe you can offer to look after each other’s children so you can fit in that recharge time!
Some takeaways:
You’re doing enough. Remember to look after yourself so you are better equipped to look after everyone else.
There are always hiccups! Embrace the transition with humour, grace and flexibility. Now, where IS that water bottle….
If you’re a busy parent looking for support, Dominique offers both in person and virtual counselling at Sage.